Adventist Youth Ministry

The objective of this ministry is “To save from sin and guide into service:” this true and only motive, so complete and impressive, was adopted during the 1926 General Conference session. To obtain the salvation of the youth it is necessary to give them every possible opportunity to participate in all Adventist youth activities.  By keeping youth actively preparing for more efficient service, they are protected from evil.  It is necessary to place them in some activity as soon as they are ready.  “Seeking the good of others is the way in which true happiness can be found”.  The enemy will not prevail against youth who are actively engaged in the things of God.

In case you are curious about an AYM presentation, here’s a summary of a presentation by our very own Kézia Powell

The "Loneliness Epidemic"

When I asked my fellow A.Y.M. leaders for an idea of a topic to present, one of them suggested dealing with loneliness, which turned out to be a great suggestion. It is an issue that many people face, which makes it relatable to all ages, although I wanted to discuss it in a way that would most impact the youth. I based the presentation (and its title) on an article I found online entitled, The "Loneliness Epidemic.” The article itself dealt with loneliness in the elderly but pointed out some very interesting facts about loneliness and how it can affect all ages. While I did not focus on the aspect of loneliness affecting the elderly, one of the members of our congregation brought it up during interactive discussion (which is one of the best ways to get involvement and interest in an A.Y.M. program). The first question I asked the congregation was, “How would you define loneliness?”

After getting a few answers, we looked at the definitions I had typed on the PowerPoint document and found a few keywords that everyone had been using consistently—isolated, sad/depressed, without companionship, alone—as well as a few that they hadn’t thought of (mostly those dealing with location). Of course, we couldn’t help but point out that being alone and being lonely was not the same thing. A person can find themselves surrounded by people and still feel lonely, or they can be alone and feel quite comfortable. Loneliness feels draining, distracting, and upsetting; desired solitude feels peaceful, creative, restorative. One church sister pointed out that for some, loneliness can be a state of mind: At the same time, one of our youth pointed out that while it may be so in some cases, it is still a real issue to be dealt with for everyone experiencing it.

All of these definitions lead us to the next question: Are there different types of loneliness? In preparing this presentation I found 7 types of loneliness (with examples) that I wanted to share, which I did at this point:

1. New-situation loneliness. You’ve moved to a new city where you don’t know anyone, or you’ve started a new job, or you’ve started at a school full of unfamiliar faces. You’re lonely.

2. I’m-different loneliness. You’re in a place that’s not unfamiliar, but you feel different from other people in an important way that makes you feel isolated. Maybe your faith is really important to you, and the people around you don’t share that — or vice versa. Maybe everyone loves doing outdoor activities, but you don’t — or vice versa. It feels hard to connect with others about the things you find important. Or maybe you’re just hit with the loneliness that hits all of us sometimes — the loneliness that’s part of the human condition.

3. No-sweetheart loneliness. Even if you have lots of family and friends, you feel lonely because you don’t have the intimate attachment of a romantic partner. Or maybe you have a partner, but you don’t feel a deep connection to that person.

4. No-animal loneliness. Many people have a deep need to connect with animals. If this describes you, you’re sustained by these relationships in a way that human relationships don’t replace. While I love my dog Barnaby, I don’t feel this myself — but many people feel like something important is missing if they don’t have a dog or cat (or less conveniently, a horse) in their lives.

5. No-time-for-me loneliness. Sometimes you’re surrounded by people who seem friendly enough, but they don’t want to make the jump from friendly to friends. Maybe they’re too busy with their own lives, or they have lots of friends already, so while you’d like a deeper connection, they don’t seem interested. Or maybe your existing friends have entered a new phase that means they no longer have time for the things you all used to do — everyone has started working very long hours, or has started a family so that your social scene has changed.

6. Untrustworthy-friends loneliness. Sometimes, you get in a situation where you begin to doubt whether your friends are truly well-intentioned, kind, and helpful. You’re “friends” with people but don’t quite trust them. An important element of friendship is the ability to confide and trust, so if that’s missing, you may feel lonely, even if you have fun with your friends.

7. Quiet-presence loneliness. Sometimes, you may feel lonely because you miss having someone else’s quiet presence. You may have an active social circle at work, or have plenty of friends and family, but you miss having someone to hang out with at home — whether that would mean living with a roommate, a family member, or a sweetheart. Just someone who’s fixing a cup of tea in the next room or reading on the sofa.

After reading these 7 types of loneliness (some of which were scoffed at, such as no. 4, “No-animal loneliness,” which I was expecting as our church is mostly comprised of older Caribbean people and youth of Caribbean background), I asked those who identified with any of them to share their stories and some solutions they found. As they were thinking, I shared my experience of going to college and joining ACF (Adventist Christian Fellowship) and still feeling I’m-different loneliness because I grew up in a conservative Adventist church, but most (if not all) of the others had not, which caused me to be rather uncomfortable at times. At this point, some of our members began to share their experiences.

Many members spoke of New-situation loneliness. One girl moved to a new state alone for a new job. You can imagine how it would feel to not know anyone at work and not know anyone at home. One thing she recommended, was to go out and find ways to make new friends. For example, finding a church in that area helped her find a group of friends with similar beliefs and a place that is familiar and welcoming (as every church should be), or going out and joining a group of people with interests in common, like an exercise class or book club. Another person spoke of how she enjoys going back home to spend time with her family, just so she can know that they are alright and that she can be there in the case of an emergency, which we related to Quiet-presence loneliness. I had experienced that one through my grandmother as well: She lived alone in a big house for a period of time, and had us grandkids on a rotation of who would be spending the night with her, not because we could actually help if anything went wrong but just to know there was another person in the house. There were many other shared experiences of getting a new job, moving to a new place, where the members said that reading the bible and knowing that God is always with you is something that helped when they felt lonely.

At this point in the presentation, I brought the topic of the presentation into focus. “What did you think of when you heard the topic of this evening’s AY presentation, and how do you think loneliness plays a part in the different stages of life?” I asked. One of the members in the medical field offered a definition of the word “epidemic” and said that she was wondering if loneliness could be spread like a disease (which is actually an interesting point of view that we did not delve into due to time constraints), another health care professional was unknowingly in harmony with the article, thinking that we would be dealing of the aspect of loneliness affecting the elderly, and one of the youth said that he was thinking of the social lives of the youth today and the effects of social media and technology in the youth. So first, we discussed the article itself (The "Loneliness Epidemic”) and why seniors are a group of people that can often be associated with loneliness. Their friends die, their children have moved out, and established routines are forced to change. Some even have to move out of their homes and find themselves in new circumstances, living with their children or moving into nursing homes. All of these situations can lead to loneliness, which can lead to depression and, shorter, less enjoyable lives. People who are happy and have social lives are more active, and have more to look forward to, and live for: And the will to live makes a lot more of a difference in the lives of the elderly.

As for the youth today, we discussed how growing up and socializing has become different as technology has improved. The children born in the 90s did not grow up with cellphones and constant access to the internet and social media. They mostly played together, using each other as sources of entertainment, doing physical activities outside or watching tv inside, for however long they were allowed. Now children have cell phones, social media, online video games, and other forms of technology that allow them to socialize (if they choose to) from a distance, or in solitude. Many youths relate to each other in pop culture, using memes and gifs and song lyrics. In many instances, such an intensive online connection causes a lack in the development of face-to-face social skills needed to form substantial connections, which may then lead to loneliness, which may then lead to depression (and it is not too extreme to mention death in such circumstances). Some people of the younger generation feel awkward in public settings, and busy themselves on their phones, some are awkward at making conversation (which might affect their ability to find a place within a group), and some walk around with earphones in so that other people will not try to interact with them (which is being outside while cutting off connection to the outside world). Of course, this discussion was not a demonization of technology: it has not ruined the world of socializing—in fact it has created more opportunity for socializing—but many are not aware that it was not meant to be a stand-alone method for socializing.

After discussing the social problem of loneliness in the modern age, we went back to the bible to see some examples of loneliness and how it affects us in a spiritual sense. We only got to Adam, as the discussion digressed (as discussions are wont to do) into a debate of whether Adam was ‘alone’ versus ‘lonely,’ but I named a few others near the close of the program: They were Job, Joseph, Jesus, Martha, Mary the Mother of Jesus, the Woman Caught in Adultery, and the Woman With the Issue of Blood. If you have time to look them up or already know the stories, I am certain you can figure out all the aspects of loneliness we see there, as well as how these situations all concluded. They all show that it is natural to feel lonely at times, but God would not have anyone stay in such a state of unhappiness.

We ended our program with how we can combat this loneliness epidemic. We referred to some of the methods we had found earlier in the presentations on how we help ourselves (finding a group of people with similar interests and beliefs or finding a place that is familiar and comforting, remembering that God never leaves you alone), then we discussed how we can help others. We can be a good friend to others. When people are sick (another cause of loneliness), sometimes all they need is a quiet presence; when they lack mobility due to age or whatever reason, we can visit or call; when people are new to the area, we can invite them out to events or to our houses and make an effort to get to know them; and there are many other ways we can  think of to be a good friend to others. At this point, one of the elders noted that these were all the ways we could help as individuals, but he wanted to know how we could help as a church organization. We got some very insightful answers to this question. People like to be needed—it makes them feel integral to a group. So, let them use their talents! Schedule a singer to do special music or song service, put an electrician on the building committee, ask an experienced mother to be there for the new mothers, someone with talented hands to cook, someone with style to decorate, someone with a beautiful smile to greet, someone to teach, speak, organize… the church needs so many “someones” and they will each get a new point of connection with their fellow members. As a church, I’m sure this is not all we can do to help our members AND communities, but I think it sounds like a firm foundation to build upon.

PS Animal loneliness is real. Therapy animals help so many, including the elderly, the ill, the autistic, and your everyday animal owners who find that they can talk to them without fear or judgment and receive constant loyalty and trust.

PPS Please don’t go down the rabbit hole of whether Adam was “lonely” versus “alone.” It is not totally integral to the discussion.